Question:
Do I need to be like the Proverbs 31 woman?
Only in that she fears the Lord
What the Bible
Says
Proverbs 31:9-31 shows us a model
of virtuous perfection. The woman in these verses is praised by her husband and
blessed by her children. She cares for her household and the needy. She’s wise
in words and in business. Scripture says that she surpasses all the other noble
women. But when we focus on what she is, desiring to be her, we miss the heart
of the passage and veer into the lane of sinful comparison (Galatians 6:4).
Every good work and noble trait
is futile without the fear of the Lord because, without that, we can only serve
ourselves. The most significant part of the passage is this: “a woman who fears
the Lord.” That’s it. The Proverbs woman produced good fruit and did good works
because she feared the Lord, not the other way around.
Her fear of the Lord isn’t an
extra detail to be spoken of as if it also describes her
life. That detail alone is her life. When
we emphasize fulfilling the works of the Proverbs woman in our own lives, we’re
focused on an outcome that we can never achieve. The life described in these
scriptures is what God meant for her. We forget that she’s an image built from the
wise words of a mother to her son, not a checklist to prove our own worth. Her
actions show us that a woman who fears the Lord is not constrained to a
position dictated by the world, but her life is not meant to be ours. We know
that the woman in Proverbs 31:9-31 fears the Lord, but we know nothing of her
intimate relationship with the Lord. We should be infinitely more interested in
how she came to be so blessed rather than the fact that she is.
What Do I Do With
This?
The New Testament is rife with
women who Jesus openly approves of. There’s the woman who touches Jesus’s
garment in belief that doing so will heal her bleeding disorder (Luke 8:43-48).
Jesus calls her Daughter. Mary Magdalene, who stands by the cross at the
crucifixion (John 19:25) when others deny Him (Luke 22:54-62). She was honored with being the first witness of Jesus’s
resurrection (John 20:11-28). We see Mary, who sits at Jesus’s feet and listens
(Luke 10:39), and her sister, Martha, who repents of her anxious business when
corrected (John 11:1-44) Scripture tells us that Jesus loved them both (John11:5).
Do you respond when He says,
“seek me and live” (Amos 5:4)? Are you too busy to rest in Him, both physically
and spiritually? Do you know how to receive the Lord’s correction? Are you more
interested in hearing Him call you His daughter or in hearing that you’re a
virtuous wife? Do you live be praised by your husband and children and
community, or are you content for it to be written that you’re someone that He loves?
You were not made to be a
“Proverbs 31 Woman” in the way that modern Christianity suggests. You are “fearfully
and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and set apart to do the good works that He
has prepared for you (Ephesians 2:10). Her seasons are not your seasons. God is not comparing your journey
or your works to the woman in Proverbs, so why are you?
All scripture comes with purpose.
God wants us to know who the woman in Proverbs 31 is, but He does not want us to
live a life of comparison to her. She could be real – a virtuous wife of king. She
could be symbolic of something greater, as a wise friend recently shared in
conversation. Either way, God values the personal relationship that He has with
you. Your worth is in your identity as his daughter, a woman who fears
the Lord.
Relevant Scripture
- But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. (Galatians 6:4)
- Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. (John11:5)
- And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. (Luke 10:39)
- “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)
- but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. (John 19:25)
- And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.” (Luke 8:48)
- For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel: “Seek me and live;” (Amos 5:4)
- For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)
- “a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs31:30)
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Ephesians 4:29: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen